3 things (less obvious) that shocked me about becoming a mother of two


Australian mom shares the three things that really surprised her after giving birth to her second baby.

After getting pregnant with my second child, I was realistic about the challenges I would face in the first year with a new baby and a three-year-old. I knew I would find it difficult to deal with the very different needs of two children versus one, I knew my sleep and free time would become virtually non-existent, and I expected my fairly high parenting standards to take a plunge being given that I would be stretched between two little ones.

But there were three things in that first year that I never thought I’d tackle in a million years from being a mom of one child to a mom of two.

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What surprised you about going from one to two children? Source: iStock.

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1. The constant fights

Being the oldest of three children myself, I was familiar with the trials and tribulations of sibling rivalry. While for the most part my sisters and I were best friends from our childhood, we’ve certainly had our fair share of bickering over the years.

I knew that having two little boys myself, there would be fights galore over toys and that I would eventually be called upon to be an impartial referee. But I figured that particular challenge would arise when they were older, say when my youngest was three or four – at an age where learning to share is particularly difficult.

So you can imagine my surprise when my referee duties began when my second born was only six months old. Having to break up “fights” between a baby and a three-year-old… what ??!

The causes were many and varied. My oldest would be happy to play with a toy, mind his own business when the 2.0 son suddenly gets interested and in his typical way try to grab said toy, put it in his mouth and drool over it . Report the shrill screams of the alarm level from my three-year-old’s car, who was sobbing, “Get drooling!” Get rid of the slime! “.

And, of course, removing the toy from my secondborn would then cause him to scream and no attempt to distract him with another toy would work.

A similar scenario would often occur with food. My oldest was having a snack, the bubs were having a hit on his plate and before my three year old knew what had happened his fruit / cheese / toast would be gobbled up by his younger brother. More screaming and tears would invariably follow.

When it is not about toys or food, fighting for “Mum” is also a cause for whining in my house. What I have to admit, makes me feel pretty special!

RELATED: Help Overcome Sibling Quarrels

Uploaded Image (1280 × 720) 3 Things (Less Obvious) That Shocked Me About Becoming A Mom Of Two 3 Things (Less Obvious) That Shocked Me About Becoming A Mother Of Two

We are still crying. Source: iStock.

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2. You may find yourself playing favorites

Now it goes without saying that “playing favorites” has nothing to do with love. Like most parents, I love my children to the same extent, but during the first year of raising two little ones, I sometimes found myself favoring one child over the other.

Since there’s a four-year age gap between me and my younger sister, I have strong memories of what it was like to be an only child (read: center of my parents’ universe) to a family of four, and then later five.

So it is important to me that my own oldest child never feels supplanted in my affections now that he has a sibling.

It does mean, however, that I am walking a fine line to make sure this is not patronage. My husband has commented a few times that I seem to take my older son’s ‘side’ when he’s a little rough with his one-year-old brother (usually when he’s trying to stop him from stealing his toys or food. !), but my defense is usually “do you wanna drool over your toys ?!”

Of course, I constantly remind my older brother that his brother is “just a baby” and he has to learn to share, and I’m sure at times like this he feels like I’m playing. favorites towards his younger brother.

Most importantly, love and hugs are evenly distributed between my two boys, and I am committed to always making sure they never have to wonder if either is the “one or the other”. prefer “.

3 things (less obvious) that shocked me about becoming a mother of two

How would you like to drool over your stuff? Source: iStock.

3. Love between brothers and sisters is (very) long in coming

I’ll be honest, one of the main reasons (although certainly not the only reason) my husband and I chose to have a second child was so that our firstborn could have a sibling.

Whenever my firstborn played independently, I would often watch him sit there alone with his toys and think how lonely his childhood would be without a little sidekick in the form of the brother by his side.

When I think back to my own childhood, my siblings are a big part of my memories. My sisters and I spent countless hours playing school or Barbies, cycling together and being the best playmates. I wanted my own child to experience sibling joy and companionship.

I was, of course, realistic that it would take some time for the bond between siblings to develop. After all, babies are pretty boring for a three year old given their constant feeding / pooping / sleeping routine! But I figured that by the time my second born was mobile and interacting – say around the age of six months or so – my oldest would start to take an interest in his younger brother.

In fact, that interest – and the brotherly love that should coincide with it – has taken a long time to come.

For the most part, my oldest oscillated between disinterest and nonchalance towards his younger brother, to flashes of jealousy whenever my attention was diverted to my youngest child.

But gradually he began to show affection towards his younger brother. It wasn’t until my secondborn was one year old that it started to manifest with real conviction.

Fortunately, my oldest son now calls his brother “his best friend” and often hugs and kisses him (although sometimes I have to remind him to do it a little more gently).

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